10:30 PM Wednesday. Want to log in to Facebook to clear up rampant stupidity over recent status. Can't log in. Error message: "Account Unavailable. Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience."

12:30 AM Thursday. Still can't log in. Emails from friends still flying. Site maintenance, my ass. Go to bed, hoping stupidity dies overnight from lack of attention.

12:30 PM Thursday. Still can't log in. Now it's getting personal. Try to find contact helpdesk email for Facebook. Might as well be searching for the Holy Grail. Find Holy Grail in my desk drawer beside the tea packets. Manage to find helpdesk (bug report? This isn't a bug. This is your site not doing what it could before). Send 'bug report'. Am asked to confirm email address. At least they got that part right. Respond.

Consider declaration of never using Facebook again. Think again; might be overreacting.

5:30 PM Thursday. Still can't log in. No longer receiving emails rife with stupidity from friends. Time has moved on for them. I'm trapped in some time-space continuum amber at 10:30 PM Wednesday.

Facebook?
Pft!
Whatever.
It's dead to me, DEAD I SAY!

5:39 PM Thursday: ARGHHHHHHHH. Decide to spam them with updates of how I can't login, but without the amusing commentary.

5:50 PM Thursday: Decide I should get a life. By going home and collapsing.